2 Bold Steps toward progress

1) A decision to quit with the sabotaging guilt

2) Starting simple with water

Medical issues aside, I've absolutely sabotaged myself with thoughts of:

"Oh well, one more night of ice cream isn't going to matter now."
"I'm never gonna be 'that girl" I wanna be anyway, so..."
"You're fat.  You will always be fat.  You're kidding yourself with these so-called efforts."

Brutal.  On a daily basis.  Seriously.

So, whenever I slip up, and I do and will continue to do so, I'm making a very conscious decision not to let every little slip become a landslide.  I mean, because I sneak a donut that someone brought into the office at breakfast time means I sandbag the whole day??  Not anymore.  I've actually been successful at that for four days now and it feels REALLY good.

The other step is I've recommitted to sincere tracking efforts with simply starting with ensuring I get my water in by the end of every day.  That's really all I have to concentrate on.  That has worked for three whole days.

The show streak of success sounds trivial, but it's good enough for me right now.  It's building confidence because I feel good doing it and it feels like something I can perpetuate without feeling I have to alter my whole life to accomplish it.

I DID feel guilty for not getting my Saturday run in, as my partner did, but I let go of it and accepted it.  Sunday I woke up and realized the vague soreness under my right knee camp was not going away, and was, in fact, worse.  After reading about it, I've self-diagnosed my ailment as "Runner's Knee."  At first I was elated that I still suffer from running-type injuries because it must mean I'm running! HA!  Quickly, I recognized a small panic building in my but because 1) if I can't run, will I lose my partner again (PTSD, apparently), 2) if I can't run, I won't lose weight (AAARRRGGGHHH!), 3) I'll lose what little endurance I've built again.  I decided to R-I-C-E and call Sunday a wash as well...  Then I got stir crazy.  Decided to take Vi and the dog for a 1.25-mile walk.  Then I decided to try that same 1.25-mile route with just the dog and run her.  Then I mused to myself, "Runner's knee...hmph!"  Simultaneously I realized I was cold and should go home and try the 'mill out for the first solid time.

My knee was still feeling okay and I got 2.0 more miles in!  I was so excited to look at my Fitbit to see just how close I must be to my 10,000 step daily goal only to realize it wasn't working! *insert expletive*

Today, I didn't really feel like it, but getting dressed to take Vi to school I donned some running clothes to take advantage of this near-50 degree weather and to not let my partner down in case she was out as well.  I decided to truly commit to a cross-training type day and set out to walk 2 miles.  I was making such good time, I pushed it to 3 instead!

Not to bad, I thought!

The lake like a mirror to the sky

AND as of 4:00 this afternoon, I've consumed 72-ounces of water. It's inspired me to try and consume only "healthy" foods, too!  So far, only 14 WW points, as well as 5 servings of vegetables! I wasn't really tracking before, but I KNOW this is a far improvement over what I had been consuming!  I even planned it that I can have dinner tonight at Panera with friends and not derail today's efforts!