But, but...how??

I was telling someone a story recently about my running history and realized this fall is two years from my first half marathon.  I recalled that at that time, two years ago, I was probably the best shape in my life.  Certainly not the thinnest, but definitely the best physical shape in terms of strength and endurance.  It has been slippery slope since then...

I researched and researched (because that feels like progress that I don't have to actually be out running *HA!*) different training plans, read Runner's World magazine and blogs hungrily as if absorbing the words actually made me faster, and kind of fumbled way independently to an 11:00 minute mile (totally fast for me) and finished strongly.  The zenith of all that effort was of course the race (Detroit Women's Half Marathon and 5K - DO IT! It's AMAZING!)...then I took my recovery time too long...and never got back to the discipline, training, and nutritional program that got me to that point.  Never. Ever.

Try as I might, it's not doing it for me like that first time around.  WHY??  (Seriously.  Not so rhetorical.  If someone can tell me why, I'd appreciate it.)

I've gotten the bug again lately for a couple reasons:

1) I recall feeling AMAZING during that time period.  My memory tells me it was the best I've ever felt.

2) I do NOT feel amazing now.  I think if I can break through the stiffness and pain, it'll ensure I will remain mobile and strong and feeling amazing for longer.

I began researching training programs, fitness programs, strength-training programs, desperate to find something that speaks to me again.  Aaaannnddd...not so much.  It begs the question for me, "How do others do it?"  Is most "success" found with a trainer? Some kind of training plan effectively directing you what to do and when (because I'm sure I need that.  I have no formal education in fitness and nutrition and believe that's part of the recipe for success...it must be!)?

Where did you begin?  What were defining moments in your efforts toward fitness and health?  What has been most crucial? So far, I can say that I've grown enough to finally realize I AM capable and deserving of the fit body and lifestyle I crave...I just don't know HOW!!

Recently, some friends of mine were kicking around an idea to create a relay team for a triathalon.  I've been intrigued with duathlons since two years ago when I was actually "in shape" and thought with some direction I could accomplish such a thing.  I think I would LOVE to be part of a team for something like that.  I also think, because I lack confidence, that I would be the anchor that holds them back.  Again, I ask "HOW" do I get beyond this point then??

One barrier I notice getting in my way is another mental one: I don't think I'm "good enough" for a trainer.  I fear I'm not one of "them," that can commit to the rigor of training, someone standing over me yelling, pushing me when I'm not really that capable...  See?? Yeah, I don't know how to get beyond that mental struggle, either.  I'm willing to work on that, though, if I had a good fit with whatever needs to be in place to move me from contemplation to action (recognize any of these Stages of Change?? :D)!

SOOOOoooo...if I don't get any answers, I'll continue to research (because I'm convinced that should burn a bunch of calories) in the name of fitness and see if that gets me anywhere... ;)

How DO you?

How DID you?

How would you LIKE to??