My Coming-Out Announcement

I'm pretty sure it's not what you're thinking... Catchy title, though, huh?  *snarky grin*

I've hinted around to it for some time now.  And even when people straight up ask me, I stumble, looking for my words, minimize it, avoid it, and even denied it.  I've really, REALLY struggled with admitting it, because I am afraid of the looks, cynicism, don't want to feel the doubt others have and I fight on the daily.  You can't go back, really, after verbalizing such a thing...

Hi, my name is Amy, and I...

...I am training for a triathlon.

*GASP*

I KNOW, RIGHT?!  If you're rolling your eyes because it's not what you thought I'd say, good.  If you're rolling your eyes because you're exasperated by yet another attempt of mine to own this body and condition it to be the machine I know it can be, please do not pass "GO," and immediately direct your cursor to the small "X" on your browser's tab.  I'm not making any apologies for not even wanting to hear your arguments, "sincere concern," against it.  Good day, Sir! (-Willy Wonka, first Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

If you're still here, thank you.  There's like 3 of you who read this randomness from my head now, and I think 2 of you are probably still here.  *blush*

Let me tell you about what's been happening since I started this and couldn't fully admit it.  Remember whenever we'd go to the lake and I'd INSIST on wearing the life-jacket, or being the one to carry the float??  WELL.  I can swim.  Like, laps even! WITHOUT a life preserver! HAHAHA!!  I have these God-sent coaches (directed to me by Finding Her Happy Pace) with Be Bold Crew (click here for their Facebook page and you can get a taste of how supportive they are, genuine, and interested in building you both physically AND mentally).

It's not pretty, but if you're interested, this was a video my coach took of my first full 50 yards (2 POOL LENGTHS!!) without stopping.

Other things that have been made available to me for training are cycling classes, running clinics, a mechanics class for strength-training to promote injury-free training/racing, and didactic sessions including goal-setting, nutrition class, gear clinic, and more!  Admittedly, I embarked on this journey with only my toe in the water, so to speak.  I thought, I'll train with them, but I won't do an event.  It's really to keep me moving through the winter since it's typically so hard on my body.  I had a secret desire all along, and it was simply fear-based that I couldn't fully commit, or even admit, that I was going to do this.

The other night, I attended the mechanics class.  I'm definitely the oldest and most, well, we'll leave it at "out of shape" in ALL the classes.  It's a little intimidating.  But I'll tell you, that's MY issue.  It's not because anyone else makes me feel that way.  In fact, everyone...EVERY ONE is so supportive, helpful, encouraging, and seems to believe in my ability even when I question it.  A little, ok, A LOT embarrassing: at class I found myself suddenly a bit...off.  Dizzy, like.  OMG.  Everyone was working so hard, I didn't want to have to stop and disappoint anyone for not working as hard! (I know, I told you I was "off.") I couldn't even trust myself to get back in the groove, though...WORST. NIGHTMARE.  Again, the problem was ALL ME, though.  NO ONE made me feel embarrassed, snickered, or otherwise.  In fact, offered support, encouragement, identified I needed to hydrate and I even got a chocolate! WHAAAT?! YES!  And after the episode, helped me to identify what may have triggered it and how to help avoid it going forward.  These women are funny, supportive, STRONG, genuine...and I'm so proud to be associated with them.  I can't keep that a secret any longer.  I don't even want to...(well, kinda, but I'm working through it. *blush*).

I have swim class tonight.  And I'm actually excited! Actually, while the swimming part is the scariest for me, it's the one I look forward to most.  My neurologist is happy to hear I'm in the pool, and I can tell the difference this winter in trying to control stupid MS flare-ups by being in the pool.  Of course the zero-impact aspect is amazing, but the constant pressure of the water helps to quell some of the muscle spasms! Don't tell the coaches, but it's like one hour a week of massage therapy...with sore arms the next day! *wink wink*

So there it is:  I'm out.  *grin*  I'm training for a triathlon.

You know I struggle with motivation and accountability.  I'll tell you, finally committing to this has triggered my motivation! The accountability has been a huge part, but by being there, I'm actually getting validated that my efforts are worth it, which perpetuates the motivation.  I guess it doesn't have to be a tri, for sure, but maybe you could commit to something, too??